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Coffee-holics Anonymous



I can barely function past 10am without a few cups of coffee. Coffee was discovered so that people like me can wake up early in the morning without harming or injuring others (and ourselves). I didn't consider myself as a coffee-addict until I 'tried' to cut down my intake. This didn't work out well, just ask all the friends and family I terrorized during my caffiene-deprived state. 



The longest I've been without coffee is two days, I couldn't make it any further...the anxiety and neurosis set in and I had horrifying hallucinations that all the world's coffee trees were extinct. Then there was the falling asleep at random times during the day; like during a work presentation, which I was giving. So I decided not to put myself in such jeopardy again and refueled on my life's elixir.



If you're wondering whether you're also a coffee-holic, here are a few signs that I have found to help you find out. 



Signs That You're a Coffee-holic

  • You can jumpstart your car without cables.

  • You watch DVD's in fast forward.

  • You never speak in complete sentences.

  • You can type 80 words per minute with a coffee cup in one hand.

  • Your doctor needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

  • You speak so fast, even 'The Chipmunks' don't understand what you're saying.

  • You walk 5km on the treadmill before realizing it's not on.

  • One shot of expresso and other people get dizzy watching you.

  • When you call into radio stations, the presenter asks you to turn yourself down.

  • Nescafe has named a blend after you.

  • Your personal first aid kit contains two liters of coffee and an I.V hookup.

  • You answer the door before people knock.

  • You think CPR stands for 'Coffee Provides Resuscitation'.

  • You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

  • You're so wired, you pick up 5FM.

  • At your local cafe, your coffee is made before you even order.

  • The only reason you go to sleep is so that you can wake up to the smell of coffee.

  • You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. 

  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.

  • Walking makes you nervous. Sleeping makes you nervous. Actually, everything makes you nervous.

  • You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.

  • Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.




They say that sleep is sign of coffee depravation, which means I need to go make myself another cup...Ciao for now ;)



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